Tuesday, 7 October 2008
Ramble, ramble, ramble...
The past few weeks have been a real torture to me. I don't know what was the exact cause, but I having been feeling more emotional than PMS-on-steroids. I was pissed, depressed, empty-minded, losing composure, rattled and numbed. In short, it was anything but positive. The migraine constantly hovering over me certainly just made the situation much worse.
I was fine one minute, in pain the next and crying by the third. And what's worse (to me) is that the people (actually, person) who I wanted to be concerned about me and console me said nothing. Zilch. Nada. Absolutely nothing. The person was probably too busy with his/her new fling to be bothered about somebody like me (Who am I to the person anyways? that's something I really want to know), although the person may have a big part in the cause of all my emotional turmoil. A kid is a kid after all. I know I am trying to let it go, but it's not that easy to let go of something you held on dearly for so long. Even my family and friends don't really notice it or give a damn. I don't think I am that good of an actor. I just wish there was a way to block out all this emotions until after my examinations are over by the end of november. And then there's the matter of my further studies post-A-Levels. The financial issue, accommodation, etc, etc. At this rate I have a really bad feeling about my future. It's looking mighty bleak with a side dish of migraines from where I am standing.
I was fine one minute, in pain the next and crying by the third. And what's worse (to me) is that the people (actually, person) who I wanted to be concerned about me and console me said nothing. Zilch. Nada. Absolutely nothing. The person was probably too busy with his/her new fling to be bothered about somebody like me (Who am I to the person anyways? that's something I really want to know), although the person may have a big part in the cause of all my emotional turmoil. A kid is a kid after all. I know I am trying to let it go, but it's not that easy to let go of something you held on dearly for so long. Even my family and friends don't really notice it or give a damn. I don't think I am that good of an actor. I just wish there was a way to block out all this emotions until after my examinations are over by the end of november. And then there's the matter of my further studies post-A-Levels. The financial issue, accommodation, etc, etc. At this rate I have a really bad feeling about my future. It's looking mighty bleak with a side dish of migraines from where I am standing.
Labels: my life
Monkey J
17:47
0 commented
17:47
0 commented