Saturday, 22 November 2008
Checking Out Blues?
Wow, the year and a half has finally come to an end. As I strolled down part of memory lane (literally) all alone tonight, I was overwhelmed with emotions. I was barely to hold back the tears in my eyes when I was walking amongst unknown passerby’s...
The action of emptying out my room earlier certainly didn’t help lift my mood, not to mention, the song for which I just posted up the lyrics. Oh, surprisingly, I took 3 days (not continuous) to fully pack everything up and now half my room is occupied by bags and boxes. My CPU is obviously still unpacked, as the boxes are still at home at the moment and I am able to post stuff up online.
The sight of the empty softboard, barren drawers and empty closets is constantly reminding me that this phase of my life is over. I would probably never be able to enjoy another day here as a student with all the friends I made throughout my duration here. No more days hanging out at INTIMA or SAO, no more suppers at burger stalls or dessert shops, no more events to manage and enjoy, at least from here. I guess what I really will miss is whatever I did with my friends, whatever it may be, and all the enjoyment that came with it.
Spending my last day here all alone after a few days of camaraderie with my friends (15 hour shopping [totally worth breaking my legs for], farewell party [which turned out better than I expected], cam-whoring around the whole campus and out of campus, and dinners with people [may sound weird to normal people, but those who know me knows that this means something to me] ) certainly only amplified the sadness experienced. Every effort I tried to lift my mood would only be affective as long as my eyes are focused on my monitor. The sight of my empty room and packed boxes instantly regenerated the sadness. Thankfully, I have Britney’s new leaked album which packs more upbeat tracks, but has some really hard-hitting down tunes as well, to keep my sullenness under control.
What’s weird to me about me is that this sorrowful melancholy seems to be lingering around forever but when my exams were over, I didn’t feel even the slightest bit of joy. Relieved yes, overjoyed no. Maybe I needed some music to suit the mood as it always seems to manage to amplify my emotions (but I was outside the exam hall at that time. Where was I suppose to find music?) But come gloom, all the griefs seem to just tumble down into one giant ball of depression, with or without rhythm.
Is there such a thing as depression addiction? Good grief…
The action of emptying out my room earlier certainly didn’t help lift my mood, not to mention, the song for which I just posted up the lyrics. Oh, surprisingly, I took 3 days (not continuous) to fully pack everything up and now half my room is occupied by bags and boxes. My CPU is obviously still unpacked, as the boxes are still at home at the moment and I am able to post stuff up online.
The sight of the empty softboard, barren drawers and empty closets is constantly reminding me that this phase of my life is over. I would probably never be able to enjoy another day here as a student with all the friends I made throughout my duration here. No more days hanging out at INTIMA or SAO, no more suppers at burger stalls or dessert shops, no more events to manage and enjoy, at least from here. I guess what I really will miss is whatever I did with my friends, whatever it may be, and all the enjoyment that came with it.
Spending my last day here all alone after a few days of camaraderie with my friends (15 hour shopping [totally worth breaking my legs for], farewell party [which turned out better than I expected], cam-whoring around the whole campus and out of campus, and dinners with people [may sound weird to normal people, but those who know me knows that this means something to me] ) certainly only amplified the sadness experienced. Every effort I tried to lift my mood would only be affective as long as my eyes are focused on my monitor. The sight of my empty room and packed boxes instantly regenerated the sadness. Thankfully, I have Britney’s new leaked album which packs more upbeat tracks, but has some really hard-hitting down tunes as well, to keep my sullenness under control.
What’s weird to me about me is that this sorrowful melancholy seems to be lingering around forever but when my exams were over, I didn’t feel even the slightest bit of joy. Relieved yes, overjoyed no. Maybe I needed some music to suit the mood as it always seems to manage to amplify my emotions (but I was outside the exam hall at that time. Where was I suppose to find music?) But come gloom, all the griefs seem to just tumble down into one giant ball of depression, with or without rhythm.
Is there such a thing as depression addiction? Good grief…
Monkey J
22:48
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22:48
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