Monday, 2 February 2009
Festivities and a Funeral (or two)
Chinese worldwide have been celebrating for the past week (and for one more week) the arrival of spring through the 15-days long “Chinese New Year” (CNY). Kids everywhere rejoice at the prospect of earning a quick buck from married relatives as adults lament the fact that more money is being sucked out of them, especially considering the economic downturn.
As most already know, on the night before the first day of CNY, family members from far and near gather together for a reunion dinner (causing major traffic jams and hundreds of accidents yearly). Apparently, my grand aunt got too excited (or something) by the prospect of her brood returning that she suffered cardiac arrest (yes, heart attack) on that afternoon, sending her straight to ICU. Somehow, she managed to survive that and was still around as the CNY celebrations began, although she (and, subsequently, her returning brood+family) was stuck in the hospital, where I doubt any celebrations are held. As my family tends to visit that particular grand aunt’s house during our first day of CNY after dropping by my grandparent’s house, we were left in limbo over what to do. In the end, we just went home after visiting my grandparents in the morning.
Later, we went to my father’s side of the family to continue the (lack of) CNY celebrations. The family was visibly partitioned into two. The TV watching (Aussie Open, tennis) lazy asses and the chit-chatty gossip mongers (me, me, me!!). Prior to lunch, my mum decided to visit the grand aunt for formality sake. (You know how old people get so touchy-feely over all these stuff…) Apparently, even after just seeing me, in all my 173cm glory (lol), just last Sunday, she wondered whether my mother’s children were all grown up aloud….
Back at my father’s side of the family, things seemed to have remained unchanged for as long as I could remember (except my grandmother passing away 2 years ago). The snobbish was still snobbish, the friendly were still friendly and the usual were still usual. But I guess old age really does causes their brains to scramble as some old (gossip) topics were rehashed amidst new discussions.
The exhilarating uneventfulness continued on to the second (and last, for me) day of CNY with only two slightly memorable incidents. One, snobbish uncle who recently had eye surgery (which unfortunately did not turn him blind nor humble) and my aunt were at each others neck over a suggestion my aunt made for my brother to sit, to which my uncle said was demeaning and ridiculing. (This is no joke, nor sarcasm. They just have got nothing better to do then to argue over nothing). Two, my other aunt grinded my sister and I for our lack of voices. (Gold sealed mouths, as she calls it) Well, I, for one, have no interest in raising my blood pressure without any benefits. So prepare your gold if you want me to speak more next year.
Fast forward to Friday, when I was still cursing the firecrackers and lousily identical variety (how oxymoronic) of CNY songs playing even after I had long drained all my CNY spirits, my mother was dropping by her parents place to pass them their monthly allowance when news came that the grand aunt had a little time left to live. Her whole family was recalled back to Ipoh for the funeral. Poor suckers, only having left one or two days prior. And so the ceremonies (of the dying kind) starts…
There was a wake or ‘night-sitting’ (direct translation from Cantonese) on Friday and Saturday where people come and sit, at night, so night-sitting. Get it? Cantonese is so easy to understand =P Apparently as it is still CNY, some people were hesitant about paying their respects to the recently deceased in fear of bad luck, or the ghost following them back or getting fewer/giving more angpaus, or nuts. So, turnout was poor and limited to mainly family members, with the immediate family clad in red as my great aunt passed away after a certain age. Her actual age ranges from 92 to 95 with her death age (apparently you add 6 after you passed 90, and 3, otherwise) 98 to 101, but someone told me the lantern read 102. So she had 11 different ages to choose from depending on her mood (Pick 101, like the dalmations!), if the departed had moods. Whoever said Chinese were good with number obviously had not been to this funeral…
According to my superstitious step-aunt, when going for these things, you carry along a pamelo leaf which you dispose of before returning home and wash your face when you are back home to get rid of any bad ‘things’ which may have latched onto you during the services. I didn’t wash my face as I was half asleep even before leaving the place (Thank the wonders of modern medicine.) and it completely slip my mind to throw the leaf away until I was already in my house (Drowsiness is not a good time to remember stuff…), so I guess I deserved the bad luck which came my way today in that short e-mail. I’m crying, in my heart…
The main ‘dish’ I got from the wake service was the wife of the grand aunt’s favourite (eldest) son was caught screaming (like a crazy person) in the small courtyard directly next to the casket in a deep manly-like voice (Woman + Dead Woman = Man?) on the first night of my great aunt’s death. Also, it seems that the death of her father and husband (plus another relative I’m not sure who) is also in January along with her birthday and her spouses’ birthday. Interesting….
Oh, and the 3 nuns which were there to pray for my grand aunt were extremely talkative. There was no pause between their transition from chant to chat and back to chant.
On Sunday, the body of my late grand aunt was cremated. That day was also the 7th day of CNY, ”Everyone’s Birthday”. So, now she is 93-103 unless you don’t count the dead as somebody… Heck, just put it as 92-103. The more, the merrier. Following tradition, a roasted (whole) pig was present at the ceremony preceding her cremation which everyone got to take back a piece of, along with a 20 cents angpau. How cheapskate… One cousin of my mother remarked that somehow the roasted pork from these kind of ceremonies is tastier than the usual variety. Makes you wonder if they are indeed pork… Hmm… I kid, I kid, I think…
Her death ceremonies come to an end today with the collection of her ashes which is to be placed in the same place as her husband, but not next to each other. (Interesting as the old folks usually reserve two spots when arranging their death spots, but not this pair. What does that say about their relationship? Maybe my lesbian theory might be true… Oh my…) Normalcy ensues, until news came along of another death. (I’m not making this up… You can check the obituaries…) This time, the daughter-in-law of my earlier departed grandmother’s sister ( I think, my family tree is very obscure to me. People back then breed like it’s an Olympic sport. Apparently some still do now like the octuplet mum with 5 or 6 kids already.) died at the age of 42 (according to the obituary) due to liver cancer on the 31st of January, just a day after the death of my grand aunt. I wonder if they have in some way planned it… It seems so coincidental… Oh well, at least, I don’t have to go night-sitting for this one. Goodbye, unknown relative of mine.
Also, tonight, on the 8th day of CNY, Hokkiens pay tribute to the Jade Emperor of Heaven a.k.a. the Head Honcho a.k.a. the Big Kahuna ( or was it Sky Sugardaddy) with their sugar canes ( I don’t know how, so just use your imagination…) and other superstitious folks run around naked in their courtyards to usher in the ‘actual’ arrival of Spring and gather good fortune, I think (maybe a Playboy or Maxim cover?). It’s something to that effect, just don’t really know what. I find these things too tedious to be practiced.
As most already know, on the night before the first day of CNY, family members from far and near gather together for a reunion dinner (causing major traffic jams and hundreds of accidents yearly). Apparently, my grand aunt got too excited (or something) by the prospect of her brood returning that she suffered cardiac arrest (yes, heart attack) on that afternoon, sending her straight to ICU. Somehow, she managed to survive that and was still around as the CNY celebrations began, although she (and, subsequently, her returning brood+family) was stuck in the hospital, where I doubt any celebrations are held. As my family tends to visit that particular grand aunt’s house during our first day of CNY after dropping by my grandparent’s house, we were left in limbo over what to do. In the end, we just went home after visiting my grandparents in the morning.
Later, we went to my father’s side of the family to continue the (lack of) CNY celebrations. The family was visibly partitioned into two. The TV watching (Aussie Open, tennis) lazy asses and the chit-chatty gossip mongers (me, me, me!!). Prior to lunch, my mum decided to visit the grand aunt for formality sake. (You know how old people get so touchy-feely over all these stuff…) Apparently, even after just seeing me, in all my 173cm glory (lol), just last Sunday, she wondered whether my mother’s children were all grown up aloud….
Back at my father’s side of the family, things seemed to have remained unchanged for as long as I could remember (except my grandmother passing away 2 years ago). The snobbish was still snobbish, the friendly were still friendly and the usual were still usual. But I guess old age really does causes their brains to scramble as some old (gossip) topics were rehashed amidst new discussions.
The exhilarating uneventfulness continued on to the second (and last, for me) day of CNY with only two slightly memorable incidents. One, snobbish uncle who recently had eye surgery (which unfortunately did not turn him blind nor humble) and my aunt were at each others neck over a suggestion my aunt made for my brother to sit, to which my uncle said was demeaning and ridiculing. (This is no joke, nor sarcasm. They just have got nothing better to do then to argue over nothing). Two, my other aunt grinded my sister and I for our lack of voices. (Gold sealed mouths, as she calls it) Well, I, for one, have no interest in raising my blood pressure without any benefits. So prepare your gold if you want me to speak more next year.
Fast forward to Friday, when I was still cursing the firecrackers and lousily identical variety (how oxymoronic) of CNY songs playing even after I had long drained all my CNY spirits, my mother was dropping by her parents place to pass them their monthly allowance when news came that the grand aunt had a little time left to live. Her whole family was recalled back to Ipoh for the funeral. Poor suckers, only having left one or two days prior. And so the ceremonies (of the dying kind) starts…
There was a wake or ‘night-sitting’ (direct translation from Cantonese) on Friday and Saturday where people come and sit, at night, so night-sitting. Get it? Cantonese is so easy to understand =P Apparently as it is still CNY, some people were hesitant about paying their respects to the recently deceased in fear of bad luck, or the ghost following them back or getting fewer/giving more angpaus, or nuts. So, turnout was poor and limited to mainly family members, with the immediate family clad in red as my great aunt passed away after a certain age. Her actual age ranges from 92 to 95 with her death age (apparently you add 6 after you passed 90, and 3, otherwise) 98 to 101, but someone told me the lantern read 102. So she had 11 different ages to choose from depending on her mood (Pick 101, like the dalmations!), if the departed had moods. Whoever said Chinese were good with number obviously had not been to this funeral…
According to my superstitious step-aunt, when going for these things, you carry along a pamelo leaf which you dispose of before returning home and wash your face when you are back home to get rid of any bad ‘things’ which may have latched onto you during the services. I didn’t wash my face as I was half asleep even before leaving the place (Thank the wonders of modern medicine.) and it completely slip my mind to throw the leaf away until I was already in my house (Drowsiness is not a good time to remember stuff…), so I guess I deserved the bad luck which came my way today in that short e-mail. I’m crying, in my heart…
The main ‘dish’ I got from the wake service was the wife of the grand aunt’s favourite (eldest) son was caught screaming (like a crazy person) in the small courtyard directly next to the casket in a deep manly-like voice (Woman + Dead Woman = Man?) on the first night of my great aunt’s death. Also, it seems that the death of her father and husband (plus another relative I’m not sure who) is also in January along with her birthday and her spouses’ birthday. Interesting….
Oh, and the 3 nuns which were there to pray for my grand aunt were extremely talkative. There was no pause between their transition from chant to chat and back to chant.
On Sunday, the body of my late grand aunt was cremated. That day was also the 7th day of CNY, ”Everyone’s Birthday”. So, now she is 93-103 unless you don’t count the dead as somebody… Heck, just put it as 92-103. The more, the merrier. Following tradition, a roasted (whole) pig was present at the ceremony preceding her cremation which everyone got to take back a piece of, along with a 20 cents angpau. How cheapskate… One cousin of my mother remarked that somehow the roasted pork from these kind of ceremonies is tastier than the usual variety. Makes you wonder if they are indeed pork… Hmm… I kid, I kid, I think…
Her death ceremonies come to an end today with the collection of her ashes which is to be placed in the same place as her husband, but not next to each other. (Interesting as the old folks usually reserve two spots when arranging their death spots, but not this pair. What does that say about their relationship? Maybe my lesbian theory might be true… Oh my…) Normalcy ensues, until news came along of another death. (I’m not making this up… You can check the obituaries…) This time, the daughter-in-law of my earlier departed grandmother’s sister ( I think, my family tree is very obscure to me. People back then breed like it’s an Olympic sport. Apparently some still do now like the octuplet mum with 5 or 6 kids already.) died at the age of 42 (according to the obituary) due to liver cancer on the 31st of January, just a day after the death of my grand aunt. I wonder if they have in some way planned it… It seems so coincidental… Oh well, at least, I don’t have to go night-sitting for this one. Goodbye, unknown relative of mine.
Also, tonight, on the 8th day of CNY, Hokkiens pay tribute to the Jade Emperor of Heaven a.k.a. the Head Honcho a.k.a. the Big Kahuna ( or was it Sky Sugardaddy) with their sugar canes ( I don’t know how, so just use your imagination…) and other superstitious folks run around naked in their courtyards to usher in the ‘actual’ arrival of Spring and gather good fortune, I think (maybe a Playboy or Maxim cover?). It’s something to that effect, just don’t really know what. I find these things too tedious to be practiced.
Happy Chinese New Year!
The year of the ox has brought my first angpau from the deceased!! (Technically, she was not dead yet when she packed it, but still…)
Monkey J
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16:14
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