Friday, 13 February 2009
Suck Suck Sucky // Rants of a Child
Below is the recollection of my thoughts (rants) throughout today. I hated it and I hated how I felt about it, but I wanted to let it go and this is one way to do so. It's such a pity that it happened to be a Friday, the 13th today. I want my laugh-manically-til-no-one-doubts-you-ran-away-from-the-nut-house Friday, the 13th back. Hopefully, next month's one would be better...
Gawd… What a funk I have been in today.
Watching my mum trying to cover her freakout about me leaving (although she is following for a week) was heart wrenching, not to mention, a fantastic way to start my day. Worse still, I strongly feel that this is not a onetime thing. It’s only natural for a mother to be saddened by the departure of her child. Reoccurrences are bound to happen and there’s nothing I could do to prevent it, besides not going. Of course, not going is no longer an option now. The amount of money spent on it so far (even though I have a full tuition scholarship) is no small change.
Not like that’s not enough, today I was thinking what kind of idiocy I was getting into with the idea of studying abroad. I was seriously doubting my decisions. I did not want to go. I was reconsidering my choices. I felt regret for having chose such a naïve option. I blamed myself for all the grief I caused and will be causing my mum. If my flight was today, I might even have walked the other way. I literally couldn’t muster the energy to break out of the rut I was in.
Oh, what a nice combination hormones, caffeine, emotion and immature thinking make…
To add more salt to the wound, I called up the Australian High Commission today to ask about my visa and (after 2 hours of no answers) apparently there’s something amiss with my medical check-up although the doctor said everything was okay and I reconfirmed again with the clinic prior to my call to the High Commission. Sadly, the immigration officer couldn’t say what was wrong as she had no medical knowledge of what was amiss and said the officer in charge of my case will get back to me on Monday. Great, more time for my mum (and me) to worry and stress about it…
Actually I feel it’s rather silly seeing how they are taking that much time into processing a student visa. Is it that big a deal that I have short-sightedness? Isn’t there more pressing matters on their hands? Like revoking the citizenships of arsonists who caused the ‘mass murder’ fires? Seriously, get your priorities straight!
Have you tried trying to drill your head through a thick wall? That’s how my head has been feeling the entire day. The pain of my brain being squeezed is still present at this very moment. No pick-me-up seemed to have worked this time, although the alcohol may have numbed it a little. Time to look for some cigarettes, I guess…
Gawd… What a funk I have been in today.
Watching my mum trying to cover her freakout about me leaving (although she is following for a week) was heart wrenching, not to mention, a fantastic way to start my day. Worse still, I strongly feel that this is not a onetime thing. It’s only natural for a mother to be saddened by the departure of her child. Reoccurrences are bound to happen and there’s nothing I could do to prevent it, besides not going. Of course, not going is no longer an option now. The amount of money spent on it so far (even though I have a full tuition scholarship) is no small change.
Not like that’s not enough, today I was thinking what kind of idiocy I was getting into with the idea of studying abroad. I was seriously doubting my decisions. I did not want to go. I was reconsidering my choices. I felt regret for having chose such a naïve option. I blamed myself for all the grief I caused and will be causing my mum. If my flight was today, I might even have walked the other way. I literally couldn’t muster the energy to break out of the rut I was in.
Oh, what a nice combination hormones, caffeine, emotion and immature thinking make…
To add more salt to the wound, I called up the Australian High Commission today to ask about my visa and (after 2 hours of no answers) apparently there’s something amiss with my medical check-up although the doctor said everything was okay and I reconfirmed again with the clinic prior to my call to the High Commission. Sadly, the immigration officer couldn’t say what was wrong as she had no medical knowledge of what was amiss and said the officer in charge of my case will get back to me on Monday. Great, more time for my mum (and me) to worry and stress about it…
Actually I feel it’s rather silly seeing how they are taking that much time into processing a student visa. Is it that big a deal that I have short-sightedness? Isn’t there more pressing matters on their hands? Like revoking the citizenships of arsonists who caused the ‘mass murder’ fires? Seriously, get your priorities straight!
Have you tried trying to drill your head through a thick wall? That’s how my head has been feeling the entire day. The pain of my brain being squeezed is still present at this very moment. No pick-me-up seemed to have worked this time, although the alcohol may have numbed it a little. Time to look for some cigarettes, I guess…
Monkey J
20:40
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20:40
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