Monday, 26 October 2009
It came two days late
It finally came. Like an monthly period, except mine comes yearly. (Other times of the year, I just blame it on something else.)
Just something about the nerves of starting prep for finals, the almost-rain weather and atmosphere, watching certain shows, hearing certain things (and of course reading my usually extremely perceptive thoughts into it), the proximity to the date and re-realising my whole situation just sank me into a silent depression.
I am losing who I am again. I did not leave that country to be stuck with two (and more) English-illiterate Chinese hobo's. I know they are good people (and maybe that's why we don't click), they are just not people I have around me (when I do have people around me). Before I continue badmouthing others, I should really stop. This is not a time when I am a pleasant person, not like it's different any other time, now it's just even more horrible and the more I say, the worse it gets. Trust me, I know me...
I need a plan. A plan that I could stick with. A plan that I could not back away from, for I know I will only drown into mediocrity if I continue to stay where I am. A plan to realise what I, at this point in my life, want in life. A plan to bring me forward.
Until I can see a start,...
Just something about the nerves of starting prep for finals, the almost-rain weather and atmosphere, watching certain shows, hearing certain things (and of course reading my usually extremely perceptive thoughts into it), the proximity to the date and re-realising my whole situation just sank me into a silent depression.
I am losing who I am again. I did not leave that country to be stuck with two (and more) English-illiterate Chinese hobo's. I know they are good people (and maybe that's why we don't click), they are just not people I have around me (when I do have people around me). Before I continue badmouthing others, I should really stop. This is not a time when I am a pleasant person, not like it's different any other time, now it's just even more horrible and the more I say, the worse it gets. Trust me, I know me...
I need a plan. A plan that I could stick with. A plan that I could not back away from, for I know I will only drown into mediocrity if I continue to stay where I am. A plan to realise what I, at this point in my life, want in life. A plan to bring me forward.
Until I can see a start,...
"Come Round Soon"
Sara Barailles
I could use another cigarette
But don't worry, daddy, I'm not addicted yet
One too many drinks tonight
And I miss you like you were mine
All your stormy words have barely broken
And you sould like thunder, though you've barely spoken
Oh, it looks like rain tonight and thank God
'Cause a clear sky just wouldn't feel right.
He's taken and leaving but I keep believing
That he's gonna come round soon
You may be my final match
'Cause I chase everything
When you play throw, I play catch
Never took much to keep me satisfied
But all the bullshit you feed me
You miss me, you need me
This hungry heart will not subside
He's taken and leaving but I keep believing
That's he gonna come round soon, until I see him again
I'm staying, believing, that it won't be deceiving
And he's gonna come round
Well I may seem naive if I cry as you leave
Like I'm just one more tortured heart
These cracks that I show as I'm watching you go
Aren't tearing me apart
Well I may seem naive if I cry as you leave
Like I'm just one more tortured heart
These cracks that I show as I'm watching you go
Aren't tearing me apart
The angels said I'd smile today
Well, who needs angels anyway
He's taken, leaving but I keep believing
That's he's gonna come round soon
Untill I see him again
I'm staying, believing that it won't be deceiving
And he's gonna come round soon
He's taken, leaving but I keep believing
That's he's gonna come round soon
Untill I see him again
I'm staying, believing that it won't be deceiving
And he's gonna come round soon
He's gonna come round soon
He's gonna come round soon
I keep believing he's gonna come round soon, I know
I could use another cigarette
Sara Barailles
I could use another cigarette
But don't worry, daddy, I'm not addicted yet
One too many drinks tonight
And I miss you like you were mine
All your stormy words have barely broken
And you sould like thunder, though you've barely spoken
Oh, it looks like rain tonight and thank God
'Cause a clear sky just wouldn't feel right.
He's taken and leaving but I keep believing
That he's gonna come round soon
You may be my final match
'Cause I chase everything
When you play throw, I play catch
Never took much to keep me satisfied
But all the bullshit you feed me
You miss me, you need me
This hungry heart will not subside
He's taken and leaving but I keep believing
That's he gonna come round soon, until I see him again
I'm staying, believing, that it won't be deceiving
And he's gonna come round
Well I may seem naive if I cry as you leave
Like I'm just one more tortured heart
These cracks that I show as I'm watching you go
Aren't tearing me apart
Well I may seem naive if I cry as you leave
Like I'm just one more tortured heart
These cracks that I show as I'm watching you go
Aren't tearing me apart
The angels said I'd smile today
Well, who needs angels anyway
He's taken, leaving but I keep believing
That's he's gonna come round soon
Untill I see him again
I'm staying, believing that it won't be deceiving
And he's gonna come round soon
He's taken, leaving but I keep believing
That's he's gonna come round soon
Untill I see him again
I'm staying, believing that it won't be deceiving
And he's gonna come round soon
He's gonna come round soon
He's gonna come round soon
I keep believing he's gonna come round soon, I know
I could use another cigarette
Monkey J
15:49
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15:49
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