Sunday, 12 December 2010
What was it all about?
So, I may have a little behind on news back home, but one piece of news that manage to reach me was the suicide of a 22-year old due to a bad breakup from a relationship that lasted about 4 months.
What has happened was no joke, nor was it a publicity stunt (or maybe it was a very sadistic one), however I certainly could not sympathise with the action of this young man even when I do give him the benefit of the doubt that his updates on facebook were more of a cry for help than a publicity stunt.
While this is a very upsetting piece of news especially of the family of the deceased (more so his sister who was reported to be the last person who had contact with him, via facebook comments no less), I cannot help but feel frustrated by the whole ordeal.
First of all, and this is probably the least vital point, was the language used. Now, he may, and most likely, have been Chinese-educated, but even in those schools, English is still taught, and at times, better than other schools. Now, I know the quality of English lessons in school are shoddy in general, but this man (yes, man... He was old enough to vote, for God’s sake.) was 22 years old. Barring the fact that he was a dropout, he would have had at least 10 years (but probably more) of education. So, it’s confusing that he appears to have problem forming proper sentences, much less grammatically correct sentences. However, it is not just him that does it. As a matter of fact, a wide proportion of his demographics tend to feel it is ‘better’ to write like how he wrote. For a lack of trying, or just plain stupidity, I do not know and do not wish to find out. I’ll just leave that matter be (for now) with this one final note: If you want to use the Prince’s version of English (i.e. symbolic), at least use the correct symbol. + is no substitute for “and” [see below], less so if you already seem to know , or at least used, “and” and “&” elsewhere.
So, back to the actual incident. Here is a person, just in his early twenties, and this was apparently only his second (failed) relationship. Does that not sound terribly familiar to every one of us? Those statistics are far from extreme, but one may argue that in love, it’s the depth of emotion that matters, not numbers. Fine then, let’s move to emotional depth then. First off, I admit that all that’s to follow are my subjective opinions on the matter, as I have not been a fly on the metaphorical wall of their relationship. So yes, I am judging a book by its cover, but this book appears to be more of a leaflet hence I should not be too far off.
It appears that this guy is not terribly different from other blokes his age. He appears to be extremely concerned about his appearance [I’m inclined to say narcissistic especially based also on the third person references he made of himself as well, but alas,...] and has spent years pining over this girl who, from the looks of it, does not terribly fancy him. Now, here the facts seem a little foggy as the posts were not terribly well written, but from what I read, this girl rejected his advances 5 times over the span of (apparent) years that he has been pursuing her before accepting. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that there is some romance in persistence, but honestly, after chasing a person for that long, and being rejected that many times, does one actually believe that it would be a fairytale romance?
And fairytale romance it was not, from the sound bites that he wrote about the break up which occurred only 4 months since the relationship commenced, calling her “evil” and being “cruel + awful” to him. So, it sounds like this breakup was actually a good thing. Or he was just antagonising the girl as an outlet for his anger over the breakup. Either way, I find it hard to say that the relationship they had would be written about in literature as one of the greater romances in the history of humankind, and based on the short duration of it, I am rather reluctant to even call it a relationship.
To end one’s life over such a poor love story, I don’t see that this guy had much sense, or even guts. Sure, jumping off a building take some courage, but moving on from a 4 month relationship takes less. I think that illustrates the point I am making here. From his facebook update and comments, it is apparent that near his time of death, he was conscious about the people he was living behind (and I hope, how hurt they would be by his departure), but he had no hesitation to continue with his plan, nor the sensibility to even say a final goodbye to his mother. That is just plain cruel, regardless of any argument you could give (short of an abusive/absent mother). Maybe it was cowardice, but if you are dead serious about ending your life, no action should be able to sway your determination. If there is, then I don’t believe that you should end your life.
Then there is the life he chose to leave behind. An apparently loving family with no serious financial shortcomings, friends and a yet to be decided future. At 22 years old, you may be dumb as soup, but your life is still no set in stone. Time, chances, changes and opportunities are abundant. Odds are, at 22, you might not even be close to realising your true love, or, for that matter, your true breakup(s). Clearly, we had here a guy who had little use of his brain. If one still needed proof, I believe one need not look further than the fact that he ended his life over a lousyrelationship fling.
Maybe, as a last line of defence, he was not thinking straight after the break up. Maybe he figured death would be a good way to punish his ex, but that’s another common thought that passes through people’s mind after a breakup. The fact that he actioned it reflects poorly not only on himself, but the company he chose to surround himself with as well. Usually, people who commit suicide have a poor network of connections, emotionally speaking. And by the looks of it, so has this guy. As a final nail in the coffin of the sad status of plenty of our modern day youth, over 400 of his ‘friends’ liked his final countdown post and almost no one commented aside from his sister. Regardless of whether they knew his intentions or not, these numbers indicate that not unlike himself, the people he had chosen as friends were just as fickle and light-minded as he was.
Overall, in reading the story of his suicide, which (surprisingly) manage raised emotions of awe and thought of gallantry in some, I see that degenerate state of our future. From the poor command of a basic language, to the company of fickle friends, and the shallowness of the deceased, it seems unfathomable that these people will, in the near future, be left in charge of the nation’s future.
I am left at the ending of this tragic piece of news feeling sick, sick for what the family of the deceased has to endure, sick of the shallow mindset of a (almost) grown man, sick for the noble notion of “death and love” [read the stories of war veterans if you really want to know what it's supposed to be], and sick for the place I long to proudly call home.
What has happened was no joke, nor was it a publicity stunt (or maybe it was a very sadistic one), however I certainly could not sympathise with the action of this young man even when I do give him the benefit of the doubt that his updates on facebook were more of a cry for help than a publicity stunt.
While this is a very upsetting piece of news especially of the family of the deceased (more so his sister who was reported to be the last person who had contact with him, via facebook comments no less), I cannot help but feel frustrated by the whole ordeal.
First of all, and this is probably the least vital point, was the language used. Now, he may, and most likely, have been Chinese-educated, but even in those schools, English is still taught, and at times, better than other schools. Now, I know the quality of English lessons in school are shoddy in general, but this man (yes, man... He was old enough to vote, for God’s sake.) was 22 years old. Barring the fact that he was a dropout, he would have had at least 10 years (but probably more) of education. So, it’s confusing that he appears to have problem forming proper sentences, much less grammatically correct sentences. However, it is not just him that does it. As a matter of fact, a wide proportion of his demographics tend to feel it is ‘better’ to write like how he wrote. For a lack of trying, or just plain stupidity, I do not know and do not wish to find out. I’ll just leave that matter be (for now) with this one final note: If you want to use the Prince’s version of English (i.e. symbolic), at least use the correct symbol. + is no substitute for “and” [see below], less so if you already seem to know , or at least used, “and” and “&” elsewhere.
So, back to the actual incident. Here is a person, just in his early twenties, and this was apparently only his second (failed) relationship. Does that not sound terribly familiar to every one of us? Those statistics are far from extreme, but one may argue that in love, it’s the depth of emotion that matters, not numbers. Fine then, let’s move to emotional depth then. First off, I admit that all that’s to follow are my subjective opinions on the matter, as I have not been a fly on the metaphorical wall of their relationship. So yes, I am judging a book by its cover, but this book appears to be more of a leaflet hence I should not be too far off.
It appears that this guy is not terribly different from other blokes his age. He appears to be extremely concerned about his appearance [I’m inclined to say narcissistic especially based also on the third person references he made of himself as well, but alas,...] and has spent years pining over this girl who, from the looks of it, does not terribly fancy him. Now, here the facts seem a little foggy as the posts were not terribly well written, but from what I read, this girl rejected his advances 5 times over the span of (apparent) years that he has been pursuing her before accepting. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that there is some romance in persistence, but honestly, after chasing a person for that long, and being rejected that many times, does one actually believe that it would be a fairytale romance?
And fairytale romance it was not, from the sound bites that he wrote about the break up which occurred only 4 months since the relationship commenced, calling her “evil” and being “cruel + awful” to him. So, it sounds like this breakup was actually a good thing. Or he was just antagonising the girl as an outlet for his anger over the breakup. Either way, I find it hard to say that the relationship they had would be written about in literature as one of the greater romances in the history of humankind, and based on the short duration of it, I am rather reluctant to even call it a relationship.
To end one’s life over such a poor love story, I don’t see that this guy had much sense, or even guts. Sure, jumping off a building take some courage, but moving on from a 4 month relationship takes less. I think that illustrates the point I am making here. From his facebook update and comments, it is apparent that near his time of death, he was conscious about the people he was living behind (and I hope, how hurt they would be by his departure), but he had no hesitation to continue with his plan, nor the sensibility to even say a final goodbye to his mother. That is just plain cruel, regardless of any argument you could give (short of an abusive/absent mother). Maybe it was cowardice, but if you are dead serious about ending your life, no action should be able to sway your determination. If there is, then I don’t believe that you should end your life.
Then there is the life he chose to leave behind. An apparently loving family with no serious financial shortcomings, friends and a yet to be decided future. At 22 years old, you may be dumb as soup, but your life is still no set in stone. Time, chances, changes and opportunities are abundant. Odds are, at 22, you might not even be close to realising your true love, or, for that matter, your true breakup(s). Clearly, we had here a guy who had little use of his brain. If one still needed proof, I believe one need not look further than the fact that he ended his life over a lousy
Maybe, as a last line of defence, he was not thinking straight after the break up. Maybe he figured death would be a good way to punish his ex, but that’s another common thought that passes through people’s mind after a breakup. The fact that he actioned it reflects poorly not only on himself, but the company he chose to surround himself with as well. Usually, people who commit suicide have a poor network of connections, emotionally speaking. And by the looks of it, so has this guy. As a final nail in the coffin of the sad status of plenty of our modern day youth, over 400 of his ‘friends’ liked his final countdown post and almost no one commented aside from his sister. Regardless of whether they knew his intentions or not, these numbers indicate that not unlike himself, the people he had chosen as friends were just as fickle and light-minded as he was.
Overall, in reading the story of his suicide, which (surprisingly) manage raised emotions of awe and thought of gallantry in some, I see that degenerate state of our future. From the poor command of a basic language, to the company of fickle friends, and the shallowness of the deceased, it seems unfathomable that these people will, in the near future, be left in charge of the nation’s future.
I am left at the ending of this tragic piece of news feeling sick, sick for what the family of the deceased has to endure, sick of the shallow mindset of a (almost) grown man, sick for the noble notion of “death and love” [read the stories of war veterans if you really want to know what it's supposed to be], and sick for the place I long to proudly call home.
Monkey J
13:10
0 commented
13:10
0 commented